Parenting
To get a driver’s license, you need to complete 40 theoretical lessons, 40 practical hours, and pass an exam before a multi-member committee. Parenting must be much simpler than driving a car… or is it?
Parental love, care, and dedication are essential for a child’s development, but despite them, problems can arise. Children see, feel, and know much more than we think. They are very aware of the relationships between their parents, whether mom and dad were fighting, whether dad is angry, and whether mom is unhappy.
The actions of parents in the earliest years, in the first three years, leave much deeper and more lasting effects on children’s development than parents realize. The way we respond to a child’s needs at this age influences whether they will adopt the message that they are worthy of love and that other people are good and positive, or that they are not worthy and others are a source of danger or pain.
For young couples, the birth of a child is the first major challenge, requiring complete life reorganization. We have a special parenting skills program that can make many things easier and prevent problems that are much easier to prevent than to fix once they take hold.
Questions & Answers
Is it better to be a strict or lenient parent?
Based on experience working with many parents and children, the fear of spoiling children is usually unfounded. You will not spoil children by telling them you love them, that they matter, that you believe in them, or by hugging and kissing them — it is hard to go too far with that. On the other hand, if you set no boundaries and don't encourage their work habits and achievements, that doesn't mean you've spoiled them — it means you've neglected them. Children need structure and parental authority just as much as they need attention and expressions of love. Parents who do everything for their children usually satisfy their own needs, not their children's. Systemic family therapy helps parents establish authority and supports a healthy parental alliance for the benefit of children and the whole family.
How can we protect children from parental arguments?
Parents who believe they successfully hide their arguments from their children are usually quite mistaken. Children notice far more than we think — even small children sense that something is wrong, that mom is sad or dad is angry. The best way to protect your children from your arguments is to work on improving your relationship. In the meantime, a few important rules: don't argue in front of the children, don't use them as intermediaries, don't speak badly about the other parent, don't withhold contact with the other parent, and don't compete over who will be more lenient with the child.
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